Dear woman with yelling child on train,

If you'd stop giving in to his demands while yelling, he wouldn't yell to get things. You're the problem, not him.
Sincerely,
The pregnant bitch

Dear guy sucking his teeth constantly on the train,

I'm going to rip your face off and feed it to you.
Sincerely,
The pregnant bitch

Dear man on the train in the seat directly behind me,

Get off your phone. I'm stock of being able to hear you talk sports over my Bose in-ear headphones. I wish this train went underground at some point. 


Sincerely,
the pregnant bitch

Dear 5 o'clock,

I hope you've been working out, because your ass had better SPRINT today. 


Sincerely, 
the pregnant bitch

Dear sleep fairy,

You pass me up tonight, bitch, and i'm going to cut you. 


Sincerely, the pregnant bitch

Dear Rain,

You're late. At least my smoothie made it overnight. 


Sincerely, the damp pregnant bitch.

Dear Monday,

Fuck you. We're already off to a horrible start. Forty minutes late getting up and a train that's ridiculously packed. 


Sincerely, the pregnant bitch.

Dear people staring at my belly disdainfully on the shuttle,

Next time, make eye contact as I struggle to stand while you enjoy that seat right in front of me. It's not at all hard to balance with a uterus the size of a soccer ball on a shuttle packed full of people. I'm sure the kid will be just fine if I do fall next time some idiot jumps in front of the bus and the driver stops short. 


Sincerely, 
The Pregnant Bitch